* DEEP THOUGHTS * by Jack Handy 
 I don't think I'm alone when I say I'd like to see more and more planets
 fall under the ruthless domination of our solar system. 
  
I hope if dogs ever take over the world, and they chose a king, they
 don't just go by size, because I bet there are some Chihuahuas with
 some good ideas.
 
Ambition is like a frog sitting on a Venus Flytrap. The flytrap can
 bite and bite, but it won't bother the frog because it only has little
 tiny plant teeth. But some other stuff could happen and it could be
 like ambition. 
  
If you were a poor Indian with no weapons, and a bunch of
 conquistadors came up to you and asked where the gold was, I don't
 think it would be a good idea to say, "I swallowed it. So sue me." 

 I bet one legend that keeps recurring throughout history, in every
 culture, is the story of Popeye.
 
 When you go in for a job interview, I think a good thing to ask is if
 they ever press charges. 
  
We tend to scoff at the beliefs of the ancients. But we can't scoff at
 them personally, to their faces, and this is what annoys me.
  
Probably the earliest flyswatters were nothing more than some sort of
 striking surface attached to the end of a long stick.

In college, I had to write an English Comp paper regarding my birth ... one of the strangest things I've ever had to write.  In the process of gathering information for it, I asked my mom why she had named me Jill.  She told me that she wanted to give me a name that was unique and one that couldn’t be turned into a nickname.  The unfortunate truth is that it rhymes with everything.  I had to laugh today when I received an email from someone addressing me as 'Kill.'

Child of God

With every breath, with every thought
From what is seen to the deepest part
I offer all that I've come to be
To know your love fathering me

Father You're all I need
My soul's sufficiency
My strength when I am weak
The love that carries me
Your arms enfold me, till I am only
A child of God

With every step on this journey's walk
And wisdom's songs that the soul has sought
I give myself unreservedly
To know Your love fathering me

Father You're all I need
My soul's sufficiency
My strength when I am weak
The love that carries me
Your arms enfold me, till I am only
A child of God

-Brian Doerksen

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZDWTQfJgwf4